Nothing else but gratitude

Here I am! Officially bidding good byes to exams and assignments (well sadly to the times when I can have lunches with coursemates and all the chit chats!). Nevertheless it was a long ride and surely it's time to move forward!

Thank you Lord, thank you family, thank you boyfie, thank you best friends good friends friends!

Ahh. This feeling lasted for quite long, indescribable :)

One step at a time.

Indescribable feelings are sipping in my mind at every tick of the clock. Especially right now. I found it hard to focus on my train of thoughts because of several commitments piling up to be done at almost the same time.  Mum was right! Even though I have planned what to do the next day, I felt unorganized. Perhaps I should avoid distractions or whatsoever, list out all the things at one time? It seems so difficult though, even if I declare myself as a regular planner! But I believe God is there to handle in every situation :)

Staying up at midnight feels superbly extraordinary for me and it is definitely not in my biological clock range of time haha. It has certainly been some time since I've stay up so late, as well as NOT using alarm clock to wake up tomorrow! :) I just want to pamper myself for tomorrow, no alarm clock (it's not even difficult to wake up!) for just tomorrow! Ahhh that feeling feels very awesome :).

Dear Haem, please pass me please pass! I just want a pass, not a HD or any better marks.

Talking crap is done for now :P

Almost there? :(

Awww man.

You DISLIKE that sense of insecurity, especially during the final stage.
Wonder if you'll pass gracefully for your final Haem exam.
You kept questioning yourself all freaking day long but without solution.
And you knew it was useless and depressing!

It's like running a final lap race and when you are almost reaching the finish line, you trip over. Just like you tripped your clumsyself over AGAIN that day. Then what, you will get scars again, this time it is deeper, clearly visible showing to other people that you are weak. Worst thing is you cannot hide and pretend nothing has happened. You need something to cure that deformed piece of skin. Did you say curing heart scars?

Geez, that insecurity from an aftermath of exam. That demon.

Dear faith, cast that demon away please. You have nothing else but faith, faith to God.

You know you're busy writing selection criteria, preparing oral defense, preparing documents for AIMS and visa, browsing cars, surfing internet regarding jobs, looking at that diminishing bank account day by day and the money is from parents, searching high and low for long list of steps to be taken in the future, etc etc etc and you're about to become double triple quadruple personalities for doing all things at the same time and you don't know which comes 1st because they all are equally important!!

Dear faith to God, grant wisdom and guidance please.

You love me. I love you. I love God.

Looking at the mirror, we both love God and there's nothing impossible for Him.

So all the grunts and sorrows? No la. Not there lah. Will gone de lah. ><

Life of a twenty-two year old

Generally speaking, being twenty two for me is even more exciting than the main stream 'twenty one' :).

As I reflect upon what have I done so far this year, I would say it's kind of a big leap in different perspective of my life. I see uni in a different way - I enjoyed fully rather than 'partially'. I appreciate work on the other hand. I once neglected the importance of friends but now cherish everyone as much as I can. Plus, I encountered a lot of issues which require tremendous amount of decision-making and time management. Things that I feel I'm more independent than my 21- sitting an ielts exam, preparing my pathway to reside in Australia, when and where and what to do after graduate, etc. Guess what? It all comes to the fact that whether I can make it through this semester or not. Mid sems are on the way and I'm trying my very best to strive hard for good results :)!

Something to be thankful to God is that I have so many loving friends and a family and of course a boyfriend :). God is always more than enough (a song that I dance for this year's freshies), also, His grace and love never fail. Sometimes it just takes that lil step to believe and to have faith in Him, He will multiply our needs and divides our sorrows. He is really the author of my life. It wasn't a smooth sailing life story to be written but He's got everything in His hands.

Hehe, you don't need a reason to write crap on your blog. Silly.

My besties :)

I must be procrastinating or slacking somehow, because here's another random but true post! After reading that heartwarming comment from Celine, I wouldn't have been reminded that this is my 4th year sharing so many experiences with these lovely bunch of coursemates! 

True enough we share through thick and thin together for almost 4 years already! :) I believed everything happens for a reason and purpose. These wonderful friendships wouldn't be built if these things didn't happen: An unexpected gentle poke from Celine, a random chit chat with those hardworking Asian guys (Lee, Eddy and Karson) who always sit in front of lecture theatres, some random arguments with Simon in chemistry lab and Elit ended up to be our middle person, and chatting with the "quiet girl" Rui Jing in our 2nd year histo lab! 

I realized at some point I might be lacking a sense of belonging to them because I am also engaged with another bunch of good friends. Thanks to the clinical placements, this pathetic feeling was gone :). The lesser you get to meet the people whom you're once so familiar with, the more you will miss them and the more you will learn how to appreciate their presence. Yeps seems leggit! :D 

4th year with them, even though some of us are not in the same year anymore but somehow everyone seems to be getting closer and closer. Well I wish all the best for them in the years to come, be it stepping into hectic working life or pursuing PhD's, may these friendships be the highlights of our life forever :)! Love them much much!

Keep holding on

If my life is being transformed into a storybook format, I guess it would be a total blank page for these two months.

Let me elaborate that. Ever since I cut short my 6 weeks holidays to 3 weeks coming back to Perth earlier beacuse of being scheduled for a 2 hours training, I thought I'm so gonna start my honours project real soon. Of course, I'm expecting myself to finish this interesting project (I meant it, sincerely interesting as I would've thought) real soon! February has just passed by without starting any real experiments. The lab assistant was literally feeling helpless because the cells weren't growing. In fact, she has 20 years of experience splitting cells.

March and up till now was terrible, or I would say MISERABLE. Yes I went to uni, yes I've been in and out for my labs, yet nothing has been progressed. I might looked as if I'm busy but seriously, the babies aren't growing happily. So far I did some simple control experiments, and finally my lab book has a tiny few pages being filled with crappy words.

Having said that, my supervisors David and Brian were really helping me out to sort all these problems. But one heartaching thing to see is, David was pulling his hair too, yes physically! My whole project might changed into another topic. My whole scientific paper might changed into a troubleshooting article, which I'm not so sure am I gonna get through this semester, AGAIN. Seriously, every semester has its own trouble for me.

Really creepy. A lot of times I questioned God why is this happening to me. For sure this stagnant- progressed project is neither I'm not knowledgale nor lack of technical problems. 'Expecting' has been a weary word for me to use. I am tired carrying this burden of fear.

Despite of all troubles, weariness, worriness, and failures, I'll keep holding on unto Him. I believe for the next crucial 3 weeks, something good will appear. He assured me to be faithful and to keep holding on, by His strength. 

I BELIVE IN YOU LORD. :) I'll get through this with a smile.